In the Heat of the Night

We have all witnessed the scene in all forms of movies.  A natural disaster has hit a large metropolitan area.  Thousands of people are being evacuated from the city and somewhere huddled in a destroyed structure is our hero, who has along the way met a young woman in distress.  Her hair is disheveled, her blouse is torn and she has what looks like soot rubbed on her face, but her lipstick is not even smudged.  Our hero, masculine, with a chiseled chin, who goes by the name of Biff, peers out the basement window at the world coming to a swift end!  Yes he is separated from his family and his best canine friend Mitzi is lying not far away close to death!  But in all this terrible calamity, our hero formulates a plan.  It is a brilliant plan! Biff looks over to our femme fatale who is shaking in fear and says, “Hey, we may not live to see tomorrow and I don't want to die a virgin.”

Of course this is just the way it is.  It is the survival of the species under the worst conditions.  Today there is this terrible calamity creeping upon us.  Scientists from around the world have been watching for it, and as we observe nature the menace is seen around every corner.  Man-made global warming is, by all accounts, going to consume this planet by the year 2050.  According to popular culture fueled by the pulpit of the eco-evangelist, carbon dioxide will raise the overall temperature of the planet by 15 degrees. Causing the oceans to raise by melting polar caps, lands to flood, fresh water to pollute the gulf streams, creating aberrant climate events which will reverse the temperatures back to an ice age that will kill off every living critter on the earth!  Except a dude name Clem who has a log cabin and wood burning stove west in the wilderness somewhere away from the political media nonsense we are all exposed to.

Recently an Inuit hunter shot and killed a polar bear in the high arctic.  This bear looked rather odd so the hunter brought it to the attention of biologists who discovered that its genome was a combination of Polar bear and Grizzly Bear.  The Pizzly, or Grolar as it has been called, is the offspring of an 'odd couple' an anomaly of nature.  It is a bit like a cooperative Chihuahua and a St. Bernard producing a Brangelina hybrid.

The fact that these two bears mated is nothing unusual.  Both the Polar Bear and the Grizzly Bear are of the same species.  But what was reported of this union is that it was the cause of climate change due to anthropomorphic global warming that made the grizzly look passionately into the eyes of the disheveled female in distress.  As reported by Canwest News Service, “A warming climate has prompted hungry grizzly bears to increasingly move north, encroaching on Polar Bear turf, according to experts.” Yes, our hero bear must have gotten the message of the coming doom, because according to 'experts' it was man that put these two 'kids' together.

I know I promised to leave this alone, but in the wake of the exposed falsified climate data reported by the mainstream press debunking increased temperatures, and the fact that the polar caps have increased and not shrunk I was really hoping that the media would stop looking for eco-ghosts around every corner.

But no, in fact the media has been even more so pervasive on the climate change front. Even going as far as reporting that while having a “casual pub chat” Antarctic scientists concluded that whale poop may be the answer to reducing carbon dioxide levels, thus saving the planet. (Reuters)

Then coming off his Academy Award nod, the movie maker James Cameron took a shot at Alberta by announcing that the oilsands developments are a 'black eye' on Canada's environmental record.  One can say, “So who is Cameron to give scientific advise?”  But then again, science has lost a great deal of credibility in the eyes of many in light of the shift from the empirical to a spiritual discipline.

So I guess until the next headlines, whale poop is the answer. Now if only the whales could subscribe to the main street media we could scare the crap out of them so that we can re-segregate the bears and the world will be once again in harmony.