You Are Welcome!

I had a real epiphany during the holidays. It's not that I have never had this insight before, but it was on this occasion that I took offense to something that has become so common in our society that very few people give at any attention.

There are those who ignore this offense, but on this occasion it struck me, and made me ponder; what has happened to the art of social manners?

My wife and I decided to go out for dinner. But it was not just a family restaurant, or fast food joint. No, we decided to enjoy some atmosphere, and experience fine dining at its best. You know the place where a dress code is implied by not only the price of the evening, but also the company of fellow dinners.

I made the reservations, and after a 40 minute drive we arrived. The restaurant had a great atmosphere. Soft music in the background, soft lighting, the sound of trickling water from a rock waterside and a large fireplace just far enough away for comfort with just a hint of gourmet cooking slowly lingering. The other guests were dressed in there finest, and my wife look fabulous.

Yes, I had arrived at a place that was pure class. Our server came to the table, which had already been set with heavy pewter plates, and well bound menus. She was a well dressed twenty-something very professional looking young woman. She said, “Hey guys, how are you doing this evening?” I have gotten used to people referring to my wife and I as “guys” because quite frankly, social norms have softened over the past 30 years or so. But in this place, this well groomed restaurant, I didn't really expect this. However, this night was about quality time with my sweetie, so I pressed on. After placing our orders, I handed our server the menus and said, “Thank you”.

That was when my epiphany burst between my ears with swift and decisive accuracy. It came when my well dressed, proper looking professional twenty-something server said, “No Problem.”

No Problem! Those two simple words bounced around my head like a bimbo whacking a cue ball on a pool table. No problem!.. So what was my epiphany?  'I had become my father!' I was offended, because although I had been hearing this condescending term for some time now, the contrast of the evening had made it plain. 'There must have been a problem for our server to ponder over.'

What ever happened to “Your welcome”? But now the “guys” greeting, along with the gum chewing phrase, “No Problem” dropped this high class restaurant down to a truck stop.

If this was just a one-off thing, I would have brushed it off. But this gal was a member of the “Generation Y” or “Echo boomers” group. They are also known as the “Digital Generation” and “Generation Next.” Basically anyone born after 1980, which is slowly becoming known as the Baby Boomer's failed social experiment.

It seems that my generation have failed to instill any sense of respect or manners in our children. This is not to say that all people of this generation are disrespectful, I have met many who show proper manners. But, we have raised this generation to call their teachers, parents, aunts and uncles by their first names with no title barriers such as Mister, Misses or Sir in order to remind others that there is a pecking order in society. My generation the Baby Boomers started with the “Don't call me Sir that was my fathers name”, garbage and the rest is standing over you at a restaurant twirling hair with an index finger saying, “No Problem.”

But why should I be surprised? Generation Y is the pampered, over protected offspring. They are the electronically distracted generation. They have also pushed education tolerance to the extreme, children of the Baby Boomers go to school prop their feet on the desk and say, “entertain me”! They have earned such mocking monikers as the “Entitled Generation”. Coddle children who grew up demanding everything, and not realizing that in order to gain respect they have to earn it, by paying social dues such as coming to work on time, or doing good at a entry level job before moving onto the sports car career.

Think of it. Have you ever had a conversation with a twenty-something, be it your child, nephew or neighbour and when they ask for something, you don't hear, “I really need a favour....” No, what you get is a statement of desire followed much later, when you did not 'jump to the pump' for them, with.... “I told you to..!” Another simple phrase.. “I told you to..” much like “No Problem”, which are verbal approaches that are condescending, disrespectful and identifies a social ill that like all societal degradation is not reversible.

I can appreciate the fact that I am ranting just a 'tad'. But is all this disrespectful, entitled attitude their fault? Probably not, because they have been raise to believe if they go to college it is all that is necessary to obtain a wonderful job doing exactly what they want to do in life, make the money they think they are entitled to which verifies the level of tolerance and respect that they were born with. This simply isn't reality.

Somewhere along the way, their parents were so into positive motivation, they forgot to hand them a simple dose of reality. Something that I was handed on that perfect date with my wife. Yes, 'I have become my father.'