The Phrase that Shames

What do you say to the mother you witness yelling, while pulling on their child’s arm in anger only to notice the mother immediately breaks down in penitent tears as the child says, "That’s OK mommy, I'll be a good girl."? Do you think maybe there is a history of abuse and the child has accepted her fate? Would the mother in this illustration feel shame that her child takes blame for her own behaviour or maybe existence in spite of her mother's shortcomings. Would it be fair to say that at that moment 'our' mother feels humiliation, shame and a sense of disappointment in her role as care giver, protector and mentor.

I think at some point we have all felt a sense of disappointment in ourselves in some shape or form. It may come at something we said, or how we behaved in a group. It may have come later in life when we are having that "Remember when...." conversation with our now grown up son or daughter and discover that their perception of us was different than what we thought it should be. Those are the moments when we feel shame and disappointment in ourselves.

Last week, I felt something similar when I had a conversation with a good friend. Strange as it may seem, it was not my lack of inner monologue that made me take a 'gut shot'. It was my perception of myself as a proud, enlightened, tolerant citizen of Canada that took the hit.

Just so you understand, my friend was born in Toronto, the son of immigrant parents from Uganda. Suffice it to say, my friend is in his early 20's, dark skin, black hair, clean cut, university educated, and yes, an observant Muslim. Having roots in Ontario he travels often from Edmonton to Toronto by air, and last week when I asked him how his flight went, he began to tell me how he was selected and subjected to what he felt was an unreasonable search and examination.

My first thought was, 'OK, it must be the new airport screening procedures.' But my friend did not stop there. He told me that on numerous flights within Canada, he has been singled out and physically frisked and questioned about his comings and goings. At one point he was surrounded by security, taken to a room and closely examined, only to be told that he was on a no-fly list. It was discovered that another man with the same 'Muslim' sounding name was on the no-fly list. But this fellow was forty years older. When asked what he could do about being detained in airports, security just said, "change your name."

At one point, in an effort to give security no reason to single him out, on another flight when he came to the airport he made sure he had no metal in his pockets or clothing. As he walked through the security gate, amazingly it went off. He was then pulled aside again. After the humiliation of being singled out and placed back amongst the passengers, is it reasonable to assume that other passengers were nervous at his presence during the flight?

That was when it happened, after what was a 'matter of fact' conversation, he said, "Ya, but I'm getting used to it." This from a person who was born in Canada, who's only 'offense' is to be born brown and into a Muslim family. Me, as a Canadian who bought into 'we live in the best and most accepting and enlightened country' I felt sorry for my fellow Canadians, and shame at the fact that we as a nation have come to the point where people like my friend are getting "used to it." Should anyone just 'get used to' being profiled, scrutinized and examined in their own country?

The 49th Imam of the Ismaili Muslims, Aga Khan said, "Canada is the most successful pluralist society on the face of our globe," and "a model for the world." This perception of Canada is not isolated to Aga Khan. In the past eight years Muslims from around the world have seen Canada as the preferable nation to immigrate to, fearing profiling, anger and hatred from other possible homes like the USA as a result of 9/11.

The tone for multiculturalism was set in 1935 when our then Governor General of Canada The Lord Tweedsmuir stated that immigrants "should retain their individuality and each make its contribution to the national character," he further stated, "the strongest nations are those that are made up of different racial elements."

Canada is a pluralistic nation where multiculturalism is viewed that each culture or subculture contributes uniquely and brings valuable cultural aspects to the whole. This spirit of Canada as a cohesive culture was formalized in 1971 and in 1988 the Canadian Multiculturalism Act received Royal Assent.

This targeting of Muslims for the sake of airport security should not be casually accepted by Canadians. One should not stand by as a fellow Canadian is subjected to unreasonable detention and search, something that is forbidden by our Charter of Rights and Freedoms. In the post 9/11 world, we can accept increased security in the form of metal detectors, discrete x-ray screening and air marshals on-board, but to accept the sole discretion of fearful airport security officers who are profiling by skin colour or how a person is dressed in traditional or religious garb is unacceptable.

Cultural profiling is a faulty policy and is motivated by fear which is not the best security counsel because as best selling author Meg Cabot once said, "Courage is not the absence of fear but the judgment that something else is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all. For now you are traveling the road between who you think you are and who you can be."