It sounds like a scene out of Seinfeld. A show about nothing! Three guys sitting in a board room trying to convince would-be supporters that a “show about nothing” will fly. Is Ed Stelmach a show about nothing!
A new poll suggests support for Ed Stelmach's Progressive Conservative government has dropped significantly in August to 32 per cent from 54 per cent in January.
In a Cameron Strategy poll provided to The Globe and Mail showed during that same time period the
number of undecided or unsure voters has risen to 36 per cent from 18 per cent. What this spells out is a minority government after the next election. The only question is, will that minority government be Conservative or Liberal?
For a fleeting moment I though of running half naked to my garage and grab a spade. I needed to dig fast and see if ‘hell had really froze over’. This is Alberta, the heart of redneck country. We are salt of the earth folks that bury firearms in cans, flirt with all the bad words, and spit on the ground just before walking into a Walmart. (Man that drives me nuts.) A liberal government!? No amount of greenhouse gas could make Alberta vote in a Liberal Government. The sky is falling!
Stelmach in true, duh, fashion is reported as blaming the influx of Eastern Canadians as the reason for the drop. A 22% drop in popularity in Alberta is like losing over 360,000 possible voters confidence in less than a year.
Good Job Ed! The sad thing really, is that as a ‘card carrying conservative’ I am looking at other pastures for leadership.
What ever happened to the Alberta Alliance? How about the Rhinos? The problem really is that Ed Stelmach is living up to his name ‘Steady Eddie’. Like a lumbering 1940’s Cockshutt tractor, pulling 8 foot machinery, the job is getting done but you could time the second hand or your watch by it. It’s like watching snails mate. Unlike his predecessor Klein, there really are no surprises. We don’t hear anything interesting about Ed in the press. He’s not insulting homeless people, or spilling a drink or two. Ed is just not giving Albertans something to gossip about.
People like to talk about our leaders and celebrity types. If folks aren’t wagging tongues about poor table manners, or disorderly family members in a desperate need for stimulation we will actually point to the only thing we see Ed doing. NOTHING!
Get the lead out Ed. As a conservative member we voted a farmer into office, and one we know to be very smart. Stop being so smart and spill a drink or two. Get our attention with the left hand, while you manipulate the right hand. As Canadians we have come accustomed to being manipulated.
So for the sake of all Albertans, Ed, please do something interesting and at the same time do the
job. I personally don’t want to be forced into seeing a Kevin Taft type looking out the big office window.
All our Premier really needs to do is let the press in just a bit. Because as the old saying goes; Everyone is normal until you get to know them.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Take China for Example
Last month the Chinese government announced that it was going to purge it’s government of corruption by first removing any and all public officials who have in the past committed adultery or is currently keeping a mistress.
This move was motivated by recent media pressure showing corruption on many levels of the public service. "As anti-corruption pressure of the central government is increasing, the number of direct corruption of the executives is reducing, but the indirect corruption (by the family or the mistresses) increases", says Hu Xingdou, specialist in the Chinese questions and professor of the Institute of technology of Peijing. (rough translation)
Interesting how sexual immorality is seen as a root cause of corruption in the Chinese government. This effort by the chinese is an attempt to remove the curse of corruption and restore the faith of the people.
It’s easy for us to peer across the pond and point fingers to our global neighbours, whilst lounging in front of a TV with a false sense of security at the state of our political processes. It was not too long ago that our press core were hammering the past Liberal government over “Adscam”. Interesting after a few trails how we Canadians tend to allow our memories to fade.
Maybe we trust the conservatives, but we should always hold our government officials to higher standards.
But is sexual immorality connected to other forms of corruption, or should we be ‘god-like’ and treat all sin as equally offensive? Maybe we can learn of our communist neighbours.
Former US President Bill Clinton would not have fared well at the hands of the Chinese if he held a post as a National Postmaster, would he? There would not have been millions of dollars spent on public hearings, and a huge amount of airtime examining a stained dress. Clinton would have been purged from the process as he should have been. Did Clinton's sexual romping damage the US government? I say it did.
Clinton’s romp resulted in “Filegate”, a misuse of FBI files to compile a list of democratic enemies. Of course, unlike the Chinese, that was swept under the carpet. The same year Clinton was on his knees, the United States campaign finance controversy arose where twenty-two people were eventually convicted for fraud or for funneling Asian funds into the United States elections.
A number of the convictions came against longtime Clinton-Gore friends and political appointees. It was “TeamsterGate” that exposed Clinton’s 1996 campaign money funneling between his campaign fund and the campaign to reelect the president of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters.
In all, the Clinton administration had sixteen scandals to deal with, all that were eventually quelled in an effort to ‘save the american image’. Maybe the US of A should instigate the ‘Chinese Corruption Purge Policy’. By the looks of things it may have saved the Americans some grief. But what of Canada? In our case, where there is fire do we have smoke?
I truly hope not, but in light of the fact that PM Harper’s weak Anti-Corruption Bill the Federal Accountability Act (Bill C-2) has done nothing to make us feel protected from the hands of our leaders, I would suggest that the Chinese solution be at least considered.
Cigar anyone?
This move was motivated by recent media pressure showing corruption on many levels of the public service. "As anti-corruption pressure of the central government is increasing, the number of direct corruption of the executives is reducing, but the indirect corruption (by the family or the mistresses) increases", says Hu Xingdou, specialist in the Chinese questions and professor of the Institute of technology of Peijing. (rough translation)
Interesting how sexual immorality is seen as a root cause of corruption in the Chinese government. This effort by the chinese is an attempt to remove the curse of corruption and restore the faith of the people.
It’s easy for us to peer across the pond and point fingers to our global neighbours, whilst lounging in front of a TV with a false sense of security at the state of our political processes. It was not too long ago that our press core were hammering the past Liberal government over “Adscam”. Interesting after a few trails how we Canadians tend to allow our memories to fade.
Maybe we trust the conservatives, but we should always hold our government officials to higher standards.
But is sexual immorality connected to other forms of corruption, or should we be ‘god-like’ and treat all sin as equally offensive? Maybe we can learn of our communist neighbours.
Former US President Bill Clinton would not have fared well at the hands of the Chinese if he held a post as a National Postmaster, would he? There would not have been millions of dollars spent on public hearings, and a huge amount of airtime examining a stained dress. Clinton would have been purged from the process as he should have been. Did Clinton's sexual romping damage the US government? I say it did.
Clinton’s romp resulted in “Filegate”, a misuse of FBI files to compile a list of democratic enemies. Of course, unlike the Chinese, that was swept under the carpet. The same year Clinton was on his knees, the United States campaign finance controversy arose where twenty-two people were eventually convicted for fraud or for funneling Asian funds into the United States elections.
A number of the convictions came against longtime Clinton-Gore friends and political appointees. It was “TeamsterGate” that exposed Clinton’s 1996 campaign money funneling between his campaign fund and the campaign to reelect the president of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters.
In all, the Clinton administration had sixteen scandals to deal with, all that were eventually quelled in an effort to ‘save the american image’. Maybe the US of A should instigate the ‘Chinese Corruption Purge Policy’. By the looks of things it may have saved the Americans some grief. But what of Canada? In our case, where there is fire do we have smoke?
I truly hope not, but in light of the fact that PM Harper’s weak Anti-Corruption Bill the Federal Accountability Act (Bill C-2) has done nothing to make us feel protected from the hands of our leaders, I would suggest that the Chinese solution be at least considered.
Cigar anyone?
You'll Put Your Eye Out with that Kid!
Well hunting season will be upon us this fall and the lake areas will be run-amok with mad hunters armed to the teeth with shotguns, and high powered rifles. NOT!
When was the last fall that you heard the sound of gun fire in the air, or the days when you could drive down any country road and come across fathers and sons patrolling the countryside for geese or ducks. Or even the backroads of Alder Flats with vehicles pulled into the ditches while hunters hiked into crown land looking to bag a moose. It just does not happen anymore. It certainly happens less.
The disarming of common folk at the hands of federal liberals at the turn of the century has reduced hunters and gun owners at a rapid pace, and at the same time gun crimes is up in the country while federal spending to disarm the public has run-amok.
I was one of those ‘gun nuts’ who years ago had a Browning 30.06 Semi-Automatic rifle, a Cooey 20 gauge shotgun, a Winchester 12 Gauge shotgun, a Remington 3030, and a Cooey 22 single shot.
I was raised by a father who taught me gun safety and gave me an appreciation of weaponry. My father was a career policeman who also instilled in me a respect for the law. A respect that saw me enter service in 1980. I last worked in uniform in 2001 on a First Nations Reserve near Hobbema, Alberta.
When the new gun law regulations came in effect, I like many, were perplexed because I knew as a police officer that it would not make any difference in reducing gun related crime and it was only a liberal money grab. The bad guy, who wanted to procure a firearm for the purpose robbing a convenience store would not be the type to fill out a application form, not to mention registering it.
Refusing to ‘go through the ropes’, I did the next best thing. I sold all my weapons to a qualified couple on the Indian Reserve. Those folks have the ability to hunt when they want and I am sure they are in the hands of very responsible people.
So there I was, a man without any of his rifles that were handed down by my father. The government had in essence told me that unless I came under scrutiny I was not trustworthy enough to possess weapons used for hunting.
Yep, I was a man in uniform that conformed to the regulation is spades. Did you catch that? The government did not trust me, an average citizen, like all other Canadians, so my guns were no more. But on my hip in the course of my employment I carried a Semi-Automatic GLOCK hand gun, which I was fully qualified for, and scored a perfect 300. The irony of it all.
Today, I am reduced to hunting with a Daisy Red Rider BB gun with a muzzle velocity of 273 fps. Yess- siree, I don my red cap with a bow tied on the top and plaid jacket, while slinging my Daisy over my shoulder and head out at fall. With a Daisy I can raise welts in the backsides of them there critters.
“Oh Wabbit, come out a Pway!” is a call of the sportsman in Alberta. You’ll put your eye out with that kid!
When was the last fall that you heard the sound of gun fire in the air, or the days when you could drive down any country road and come across fathers and sons patrolling the countryside for geese or ducks. Or even the backroads of Alder Flats with vehicles pulled into the ditches while hunters hiked into crown land looking to bag a moose. It just does not happen anymore. It certainly happens less.
The disarming of common folk at the hands of federal liberals at the turn of the century has reduced hunters and gun owners at a rapid pace, and at the same time gun crimes is up in the country while federal spending to disarm the public has run-amok.
I was one of those ‘gun nuts’ who years ago had a Browning 30.06 Semi-Automatic rifle, a Cooey 20 gauge shotgun, a Winchester 12 Gauge shotgun, a Remington 3030, and a Cooey 22 single shot.
I was raised by a father who taught me gun safety and gave me an appreciation of weaponry. My father was a career policeman who also instilled in me a respect for the law. A respect that saw me enter service in 1980. I last worked in uniform in 2001 on a First Nations Reserve near Hobbema, Alberta.
When the new gun law regulations came in effect, I like many, were perplexed because I knew as a police officer that it would not make any difference in reducing gun related crime and it was only a liberal money grab. The bad guy, who wanted to procure a firearm for the purpose robbing a convenience store would not be the type to fill out a application form, not to mention registering it.
Refusing to ‘go through the ropes’, I did the next best thing. I sold all my weapons to a qualified couple on the Indian Reserve. Those folks have the ability to hunt when they want and I am sure they are in the hands of very responsible people.
So there I was, a man without any of his rifles that were handed down by my father. The government had in essence told me that unless I came under scrutiny I was not trustworthy enough to possess weapons used for hunting.
Yep, I was a man in uniform that conformed to the regulation is spades. Did you catch that? The government did not trust me, an average citizen, like all other Canadians, so my guns were no more. But on my hip in the course of my employment I carried a Semi-Automatic GLOCK hand gun, which I was fully qualified for, and scored a perfect 300. The irony of it all.
Today, I am reduced to hunting with a Daisy Red Rider BB gun with a muzzle velocity of 273 fps. Yess- siree, I don my red cap with a bow tied on the top and plaid jacket, while slinging my Daisy over my shoulder and head out at fall. With a Daisy I can raise welts in the backsides of them there critters.
“Oh Wabbit, come out a Pway!” is a call of the sportsman in Alberta. You’ll put your eye out with that kid!
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Are you Proud?
Canada has lost another hero. Trooper Darryl Caswell, 25, was driving in a convoy's lead vehicle, a Coyote, was it hit a bomb en route to a remote NATO base in Kandahar province's Shahwali Kot district.
This is our 57th solider killed in action since Canada entered the war in Afghanistan. What do you think about when you hear this news?
For years Canadians have lived in a country where the average person believes that we are lovers and not fighters. "Those American's are clanging their swords again," is a common smugness of many of us, when we describe our war-mongering neighbours to the south.
Canadians have for years sat comfortably on the sofa watching episodes of the Beachcombers, W5, and the CBC News being spoon-fed our backwoods, red serge, beaver loving, quiet peaceful international demeanor.
"We are peace keepers, not warriors!" is imbedded in our collective psyche. The average Canadian truly believes that our Canadian Forces relegate themselves to guarding outposts, and shaking the hands of less fortunate nationals.
This is not even close to what we are in the eyes of countries outside our borders.
It pains me to hear one of us (citizens) belittle our Canadian Armed Forces with punch lines like, "Yeah, we sent a bus 'over there' and a box of sling-shots," when we discuss our troop's abilities and movements internationally. I have even heard someone refer to our military response as a joke, or embarrassment when we step up to the plate to contribute to the foreign policy of NATO or the UN. Do people who spew these catch phrases think for one minute that the military families in our country do not hear them and are not hurt by them? I am proud of our Armed Forces, and know that we have one of the best, trained military service in the world!
Canadian soldiers are in the line of fire.
Yes, it's true. We currently have 2,673 military personnel serving in various missions around the world, of which 2,545 of them are fighting in Afghanistan. Yes, fighting.
They are not just guarding an outpost of the USA or shaking the hands of an Afghan national. Fifty-seven of these soldiers have died by gunfire, bombs and accidents, including friendly fire incidents. Their families, friends and fellows members of the Canadian Armed Forces felt these deaths. We have a commitment to keep our troops in that country until 2009, and I wouldn't be surprised if we did not extend that beyond that date. To put a timetable on a pullout is like predicting the state of Afghanistan at a particular point in time. This is not a football game, there are no time limits on war, there never will be.
Canada is at war.
Canada is currently at war with an enemy that is virtually invisible. There are no geographic boundaries that we can neatly wrapped in a box or war fronts that can be drawn on a map. Afghanistan is being invaded by radical Muslim insurgents from neighbouring countries.
These insurgents are about to get a boost from India, because that country is threatening to kick Afghan refugees out of their country.
Some of these refugees have been in India for over 20 years, a holdover from the Russian invasion of Afghanistan. When these people are tossed back into Afghanistan, many will be recruited for survivals sake to join the Taliban. Do you think that maybe 2,545 soldiers will be enough of a contribution by Canada?
Don't be fooled, Canada is needed in Afghanistan.
This really pains me, because I have a family member currently fighting in Afghanistan in our armed forces. As a matter of fact, all members of the Canadian Armed Forces have been advised that they will be serving in that war zone. I am proud of my brother-in-law and all the members of our armed forces. As a Canadian citizen I would not have it any other way. The truth is, Canada is needed overseas, in all our international commitments, and many families of our military service sacrifice their loved ones.
They worry necessarily, they fear necessarily and they love necessarily. My sister has a rendezvous with these emotions, and hopefully her children will see there father return within the year.
So when we sit at home watching reality TV...
Remember that on the other side the globe there are real Canadian troops fighting for their lives and the lives of innocent Afghan families. When you see the Canadian flag flying at half-mast, pause and shed a tear because somewhere in Canada a family is shedding many tears. If you hear one of our fellow citizens belittle our Canadian Heroes for the sake of a joke, kindly remind that person that a brave soldier is at that moment entrenched in conflict to secure his right to mock that very soldier in that way. Get behind our government who is trying to garnish support for troops in parliament all the while playing the weak hand of a minority position. If you see a member of our Canadian forces on weekend maneuvers in our community, make a point of approaching them, if possible, shake their hands and tell them how proud of them you are. Most of all, pray for our Armed Forces and their families.
Canada is an important member the coalition involved in the war against terrorism and tyranny. Yes, we are peacekeepers, but before peace is achieved, our troops must fight to secure it.
This is our 57th solider killed in action since Canada entered the war in Afghanistan. What do you think about when you hear this news?
For years Canadians have lived in a country where the average person believes that we are lovers and not fighters. "Those American's are clanging their swords again," is a common smugness of many of us, when we describe our war-mongering neighbours to the south.
Canadians have for years sat comfortably on the sofa watching episodes of the Beachcombers, W5, and the CBC News being spoon-fed our backwoods, red serge, beaver loving, quiet peaceful international demeanor.
"We are peace keepers, not warriors!" is imbedded in our collective psyche. The average Canadian truly believes that our Canadian Forces relegate themselves to guarding outposts, and shaking the hands of less fortunate nationals.
This is not even close to what we are in the eyes of countries outside our borders.
It pains me to hear one of us (citizens) belittle our Canadian Armed Forces with punch lines like, "Yeah, we sent a bus 'over there' and a box of sling-shots," when we discuss our troop's abilities and movements internationally. I have even heard someone refer to our military response as a joke, or embarrassment when we step up to the plate to contribute to the foreign policy of NATO or the UN. Do people who spew these catch phrases think for one minute that the military families in our country do not hear them and are not hurt by them? I am proud of our Armed Forces, and know that we have one of the best, trained military service in the world!
Canadian soldiers are in the line of fire.
Yes, it's true. We currently have 2,673 military personnel serving in various missions around the world, of which 2,545 of them are fighting in Afghanistan. Yes, fighting.
They are not just guarding an outpost of the USA or shaking the hands of an Afghan national. Fifty-seven of these soldiers have died by gunfire, bombs and accidents, including friendly fire incidents. Their families, friends and fellows members of the Canadian Armed Forces felt these deaths. We have a commitment to keep our troops in that country until 2009, and I wouldn't be surprised if we did not extend that beyond that date. To put a timetable on a pullout is like predicting the state of Afghanistan at a particular point in time. This is not a football game, there are no time limits on war, there never will be.
Canada is at war.
Canada is currently at war with an enemy that is virtually invisible. There are no geographic boundaries that we can neatly wrapped in a box or war fronts that can be drawn on a map. Afghanistan is being invaded by radical Muslim insurgents from neighbouring countries.
These insurgents are about to get a boost from India, because that country is threatening to kick Afghan refugees out of their country.
Some of these refugees have been in India for over 20 years, a holdover from the Russian invasion of Afghanistan. When these people are tossed back into Afghanistan, many will be recruited for survivals sake to join the Taliban. Do you think that maybe 2,545 soldiers will be enough of a contribution by Canada?
Don't be fooled, Canada is needed in Afghanistan.
This really pains me, because I have a family member currently fighting in Afghanistan in our armed forces. As a matter of fact, all members of the Canadian Armed Forces have been advised that they will be serving in that war zone. I am proud of my brother-in-law and all the members of our armed forces. As a Canadian citizen I would not have it any other way. The truth is, Canada is needed overseas, in all our international commitments, and many families of our military service sacrifice their loved ones.
They worry necessarily, they fear necessarily and they love necessarily. My sister has a rendezvous with these emotions, and hopefully her children will see there father return within the year.
So when we sit at home watching reality TV...
Remember that on the other side the globe there are real Canadian troops fighting for their lives and the lives of innocent Afghan families. When you see the Canadian flag flying at half-mast, pause and shed a tear because somewhere in Canada a family is shedding many tears. If you hear one of our fellow citizens belittle our Canadian Heroes for the sake of a joke, kindly remind that person that a brave soldier is at that moment entrenched in conflict to secure his right to mock that very soldier in that way. Get behind our government who is trying to garnish support for troops in parliament all the while playing the weak hand of a minority position. If you see a member of our Canadian forces on weekend maneuvers in our community, make a point of approaching them, if possible, shake their hands and tell them how proud of them you are. Most of all, pray for our Armed Forces and their families.
Canada is an important member the coalition involved in the war against terrorism and tyranny. Yes, we are peacekeepers, but before peace is achieved, our troops must fight to secure it.
Club a Fish!
If I actually told you to go out clubbing fish, I’m not too sure what reaction I would get. For some I guess a picture of a mean hairy looking man who drags his knuckles and whacks every cute guppy looking water creature would come to mind. Some may wonder just how to wade into your local lake and find a fish. For others, I guess no thought would enter their mind. There are those you know, take a look at Paris. But when I was a young’in clubbing a fish was that moment when you knew you had arrived.
Yessirree, my pops and me, had taken that time in our lives to drive out to our favorite pond, drag our aluminum boat into the water, tie on our Canadian Wiggler, and trolled for that ever elusive walleye.
When that fish bit, I would fight it onto the boat, and WHACK that sucker on the head! What a feeling!
I remember the first fish clubbing I ever did, it wasn’t pretty. I was only six years old. Pops handed me his wooden club and while he held that poor creature while it struggled to wiggle away, I hit it over the head. It rolled its eyes and wiggled more. Pops said, “Hit it again boy, this time put it out of it’s misery!” So I whacked it again. It rolled it eyes again, and wiggled some more. Pops said, “Son, hit it right here!” and he pointed to a sweet spot. So with my tongue protruding out the right side of mouth and my left eye closed for good aim, I raised that wooden club and WHACK! Down went the fish, and up went my pops hand. That day I learned a whole new language that I later thought was the official language of the fisherman.
Pops was just as good holding the fish’in pole with his left hand as he was with his right.
But that fish still wasn’t dead, and pops had to finish it off. I later looked at my kill and noticed that it’s appearance was a bit like Rocky Marciano in the final round. I wondered how I was going to get it past the game warden, because I was sure that an assault charge was forthcoming.
That day, I clubbed many fish, and each one we clipped onto a fresh water chain and hung over the boat, giving all the other fish in the lake an opportunity to see their loved ones drug off to the frying pan. In all we caught at least twenty fish.
This is where my bubble burst.
I went out to pick up a copy of the fishing regulations because I recently acquired a nice boat from a buddy and decided I better go out and club me a wack of fish. I could not believe what I picked up!
What has happened to the days of Pisces slaughter? The day when if it had fins and was big enough, you clubbed it, cleaned it, froze it, and later fried it in butter, with a little bit of rice, some lemon, a slice of Tomato, and the peas.........
Ok, I’m back! Those days are gone. Today, if you catch a fish, you have to act like a Sunday Fishing Show Host. You know the type.
The one that sits in his boat, talks to an invisible friend, and speaks very softly and respectfully to his catch, only to sweetly pat the creature on its backside and watch as this mammoth looking Pike swims away. Yep, I bet that fish is thinking. “What a moron, you had me at .. hello!” In some Alberta lakes such as Pigeon Lake you have to apply for a draw. I grew up in a time when you only drew for game that required shooting it with a firearm. I know some like to shoot fish in a barrel, but it’s just not sporting.
Then there is the hold-over from the big game regulation. If you catch a fish, don’t clean it. In the good-old-days, many cleaned fish in the boat, then put the beautiful filets in a cooler to keep fresh. That way the meat stayed fresh. God put a process in place on this earth called decomposition. The moment a living creature dies, it begins to rot. In fishing, your best defense against it is to clean the sucker! Well, today you really can’t do that. You have to carefully do an autopsy, and ensure that the fish’s sexual identity is easily identified. OK, I must be a real hillbilly, because I really didn’t know that you could sex a fish. It’s not like I tipped them over to closely examine its undercarriage. So I absorbed these changes, and decided I would fish anyway. I would talk to them in a soft voice, let them go, and only keep the grand-daddy of the species. Off I went to my local sporting goods store.
Then the other shoe dropped.
I had to use fish friendly, politically correct, liberal loving, nonevasive, barbless fish hooks. That entails buying fish hooks where the fish could optionally stay-on the hook. No Barbs. Did it ever occur to anyone that if the fish fights without barbs, it could just decide to leave. That leaves me with the thought.. Will I only be landing a suicidal fish, and if so, what does a manic depressed fish taste like? Do I even want to assist in a fish suicide. I’m not Dr. Kvorkian! So I finally understand sport fishing. Be kind and let them all go to make more fishes, so we have more of them to let go another day. Don’t eat fish you catch in our lakes, go to your local grocery store and buy them there. Use fish friendly lures, and no live bait. You don’t want the bait to be hurt or insulted. If you catch a fish you are legally able to keep, get its permission before you club the life out of it.
So, have you hugged a fish lately? No! I didn’t think so.
Go ahead and club that fish
Yessirree, my pops and me, had taken that time in our lives to drive out to our favorite pond, drag our aluminum boat into the water, tie on our Canadian Wiggler, and trolled for that ever elusive walleye.
When that fish bit, I would fight it onto the boat, and WHACK that sucker on the head! What a feeling!
I remember the first fish clubbing I ever did, it wasn’t pretty. I was only six years old. Pops handed me his wooden club and while he held that poor creature while it struggled to wiggle away, I hit it over the head. It rolled its eyes and wiggled more. Pops said, “Hit it again boy, this time put it out of it’s misery!” So I whacked it again. It rolled it eyes again, and wiggled some more. Pops said, “Son, hit it right here!” and he pointed to a sweet spot. So with my tongue protruding out the right side of mouth and my left eye closed for good aim, I raised that wooden club and WHACK! Down went the fish, and up went my pops hand. That day I learned a whole new language that I later thought was the official language of the fisherman.
Pops was just as good holding the fish’in pole with his left hand as he was with his right.
But that fish still wasn’t dead, and pops had to finish it off. I later looked at my kill and noticed that it’s appearance was a bit like Rocky Marciano in the final round. I wondered how I was going to get it past the game warden, because I was sure that an assault charge was forthcoming.
That day, I clubbed many fish, and each one we clipped onto a fresh water chain and hung over the boat, giving all the other fish in the lake an opportunity to see their loved ones drug off to the frying pan. In all we caught at least twenty fish.
This is where my bubble burst.
I went out to pick up a copy of the fishing regulations because I recently acquired a nice boat from a buddy and decided I better go out and club me a wack of fish. I could not believe what I picked up!
What has happened to the days of Pisces slaughter? The day when if it had fins and was big enough, you clubbed it, cleaned it, froze it, and later fried it in butter, with a little bit of rice, some lemon, a slice of Tomato, and the peas.........
Ok, I’m back! Those days are gone. Today, if you catch a fish, you have to act like a Sunday Fishing Show Host. You know the type.
The one that sits in his boat, talks to an invisible friend, and speaks very softly and respectfully to his catch, only to sweetly pat the creature on its backside and watch as this mammoth looking Pike swims away. Yep, I bet that fish is thinking. “What a moron, you had me at .. hello!” In some Alberta lakes such as Pigeon Lake you have to apply for a draw. I grew up in a time when you only drew for game that required shooting it with a firearm. I know some like to shoot fish in a barrel, but it’s just not sporting.
Then there is the hold-over from the big game regulation. If you catch a fish, don’t clean it. In the good-old-days, many cleaned fish in the boat, then put the beautiful filets in a cooler to keep fresh. That way the meat stayed fresh. God put a process in place on this earth called decomposition. The moment a living creature dies, it begins to rot. In fishing, your best defense against it is to clean the sucker! Well, today you really can’t do that. You have to carefully do an autopsy, and ensure that the fish’s sexual identity is easily identified. OK, I must be a real hillbilly, because I really didn’t know that you could sex a fish. It’s not like I tipped them over to closely examine its undercarriage. So I absorbed these changes, and decided I would fish anyway. I would talk to them in a soft voice, let them go, and only keep the grand-daddy of the species. Off I went to my local sporting goods store.
Then the other shoe dropped.
I had to use fish friendly, politically correct, liberal loving, nonevasive, barbless fish hooks. That entails buying fish hooks where the fish could optionally stay-on the hook. No Barbs. Did it ever occur to anyone that if the fish fights without barbs, it could just decide to leave. That leaves me with the thought.. Will I only be landing a suicidal fish, and if so, what does a manic depressed fish taste like? Do I even want to assist in a fish suicide. I’m not Dr. Kvorkian! So I finally understand sport fishing. Be kind and let them all go to make more fishes, so we have more of them to let go another day. Don’t eat fish you catch in our lakes, go to your local grocery store and buy them there. Use fish friendly lures, and no live bait. You don’t want the bait to be hurt or insulted. If you catch a fish you are legally able to keep, get its permission before you club the life out of it.
So, have you hugged a fish lately? No! I didn’t think so.
Go ahead and club that fish
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